Presenting my It Has to Be Read. selection for the month of June, Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization by Brad Wilcox.
From the Amazon review: The good news, however, is that millions of Americans are succeeding at marriage. Dr. Wilcox spotlights four groups—Asian, conservative, religious, and college-educated Americans—who are building strong and stable marriages by defying the me-first messages of our elites in favor of a family-first way of life.:
Does this book acknowledge that lgbtq folk fighting for the right to marry and have kids shows that from the non conservatives there is a valuation of marriage: but I guess lgbtq marriages don’t count.
I am a pretty aware guy and you’ve managed to perplex me. Who are these “elites” that are so powerful they have massively deformed society? Wilcox’s elites seem to be from academic fringe thinkers who may rule certain departments at certain universities. They are real, but their influence, I would argue, is marginal outside their echo chambers. Wilcox sounds like a more polished FOX-type commentator in that he carves out the fringiest thinkers and turns them into huge influencers of the mainstream and we’d better be very alarmed because the dystopian future these anti-Christians lead is about to destroy us.
Aside from the straw man argument about the elites, Wilcox offers the antidote of marriage, Christianity and the implied old-fashioned values usually associated with fundamentalist.
I am a bit surprised that you drag out the Playboy mansion & a failed commune to “prove” that anything short of a “traditional” lifestyle condemns anyone outside that narrow definition to unhappiness and failure. And Pooh poohing concerns about the climate, plastics, etc. as “nice” but not important in the overall scheme of things is weird.
I am ten years older than you, have a long marriage (my youngest grandchild is 27), belong to a parish, and in many ways have led a traditional life with some bohemian strokes, from service in the Marine Corps to actively working to end the war.
From listening to Wilcox, and to a lesser extent, you, I am struck by how narrow & specific the focus is on the tiny minority who live these radical ideas. Wilcox even chose to demonize the entire borough of Brooklyn as an incubator of his perceived evil. And that makes a certain kind of sense because his antenna picks up the most extreme people then generalizes from the tiny minority to a whole people, meanwhile overlooking the huge majority who are not infected with these ideas.
Wilcox’s blind spots notwithstanding, there are very real problems in our society that afflict the whole society including the vast majority who are about as “normal” as could be. The bizarre focus on an aspect of academia (or Hollywood show runners…boy, is that fundamentalist bugabear still around?) while refusing to take a view of the whole society in no way comes to grips with the real problems the normal citizen faces.
The real reason people aren’t dating, marrying and procreating at the same rates as in the past is much simpler than “elites” misleading society, it is money. Simple economics. I live in Los Angeles; can young people afford to buy a house? For 95%, the answer is no. You can make $150,000 a year here and barely get by. Cost of raising a child? Exorbitant. The condition of the world you would bring a child into? Frightening.
These days, money isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. Since Ronald Reagan & Milton Friedman, the only thing that counts in business is shareholder value. Not the community, not the employees, not the planet. Shareholder value is the only value. And squeezing the most money out of a situation and into your pocket, is the everyday ethos s of business.
Society values wealth above everything else. Over and over, I hear, for example, that you have to take the money that LIV Golf offers, for example, because you have to make that “generational wealth.” You can’t consider their central role in 9/11, the slavery that still exists, the status of women, etc. No, you have to get that money because, if you don’t, somebody else will take it. This is the real frightening message that lands in the heart of everyone, not a couple of nuts that promote polyamory or non-marriage. I look forward to Wilcox taking this on with his next book.
Thank you! I was to incensed & disgusted by this to go into the fact that no young couple can afford this bucolic life this person thinks is waiting around the corner if you just get married & put some white christians in the world!
Just saw that childcare in the US not w my s an average of just under $12k nationwide. Per child. You know the average is much higher in LA, NYC or any large city. I am so incensed with guys like Frank & Wilcox who have a rarified life (UVA professor? Come on) with ample money and lots of free time to pursue their interests. Compare the life of the average 22 year old. It’s money, nothing else.
Using the term “elites” in the title of this book is a real turn off.
Might I suggest just eliminating that piece of the title. Your book sounds good but that phrase makes me think that it will be void of information from studies.
BTW, it is still the case that young people who marry, are many more times likely to divorce than more mature people. 18 is too young. Men should be at least 25.
As far as I know Brad is a member of Opus Dei or closely affiliated with it and similar outfits most/all of which are fully paid up supporters of Project2025 which is of course very much an elite outfit too.
The book title needs to be much more specific. It should refer to intelligent, well-educated, compassionate Americans with critical thinking skills who are opposed to Christian nationalism and authoritarianism.
May I ask who the ‘elites’ are? Also, Asia & India are chock full of people. I don’t think we have to worry about the planet being depopulated any time soon.
From the Amazon review: The good news, however, is that millions of Americans are succeeding at marriage. Dr. Wilcox spotlights four groups—Asian, conservative, religious, and college-educated Americans—who are building strong and stable marriages by defying the me-first messages of our elites in favor of a family-first way of life.:
Does this book acknowledge that lgbtq folk fighting for the right to marry and have kids shows that from the non conservatives there is a valuation of marriage: but I guess lgbtq marriages don’t count.
Only white christian trad-wife families for him!
I am a pretty aware guy and you’ve managed to perplex me. Who are these “elites” that are so powerful they have massively deformed society? Wilcox’s elites seem to be from academic fringe thinkers who may rule certain departments at certain universities. They are real, but their influence, I would argue, is marginal outside their echo chambers. Wilcox sounds like a more polished FOX-type commentator in that he carves out the fringiest thinkers and turns them into huge influencers of the mainstream and we’d better be very alarmed because the dystopian future these anti-Christians lead is about to destroy us.
Aside from the straw man argument about the elites, Wilcox offers the antidote of marriage, Christianity and the implied old-fashioned values usually associated with fundamentalist.
I am a bit surprised that you drag out the Playboy mansion & a failed commune to “prove” that anything short of a “traditional” lifestyle condemns anyone outside that narrow definition to unhappiness and failure. And Pooh poohing concerns about the climate, plastics, etc. as “nice” but not important in the overall scheme of things is weird.
I am ten years older than you, have a long marriage (my youngest grandchild is 27), belong to a parish, and in many ways have led a traditional life with some bohemian strokes, from service in the Marine Corps to actively working to end the war.
From listening to Wilcox, and to a lesser extent, you, I am struck by how narrow & specific the focus is on the tiny minority who live these radical ideas. Wilcox even chose to demonize the entire borough of Brooklyn as an incubator of his perceived evil. And that makes a certain kind of sense because his antenna picks up the most extreme people then generalizes from the tiny minority to a whole people, meanwhile overlooking the huge majority who are not infected with these ideas.
Wilcox’s blind spots notwithstanding, there are very real problems in our society that afflict the whole society including the vast majority who are about as “normal” as could be. The bizarre focus on an aspect of academia (or Hollywood show runners…boy, is that fundamentalist bugabear still around?) while refusing to take a view of the whole society in no way comes to grips with the real problems the normal citizen faces.
The real reason people aren’t dating, marrying and procreating at the same rates as in the past is much simpler than “elites” misleading society, it is money. Simple economics. I live in Los Angeles; can young people afford to buy a house? For 95%, the answer is no. You can make $150,000 a year here and barely get by. Cost of raising a child? Exorbitant. The condition of the world you would bring a child into? Frightening.
These days, money isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. Since Ronald Reagan & Milton Friedman, the only thing that counts in business is shareholder value. Not the community, not the employees, not the planet. Shareholder value is the only value. And squeezing the most money out of a situation and into your pocket, is the everyday ethos s of business.
Society values wealth above everything else. Over and over, I hear, for example, that you have to take the money that LIV Golf offers, for example, because you have to make that “generational wealth.” You can’t consider their central role in 9/11, the slavery that still exists, the status of women, etc. No, you have to get that money because, if you don’t, somebody else will take it. This is the real frightening message that lands in the heart of everyone, not a couple of nuts that promote polyamory or non-marriage. I look forward to Wilcox taking this on with his next book.
Thank you! I was to incensed & disgusted by this to go into the fact that no young couple can afford this bucolic life this person thinks is waiting around the corner if you just get married & put some white christians in the world!
Just saw that childcare in the US not w my s an average of just under $12k nationwide. Per child. You know the average is much higher in LA, NYC or any large city. I am so incensed with guys like Frank & Wilcox who have a rarified life (UVA professor? Come on) with ample money and lots of free time to pursue their interests. Compare the life of the average 22 year old. It’s money, nothing else.
Using the term “elites” in the title of this book is a real turn off.
Might I suggest just eliminating that piece of the title. Your book sounds good but that phrase makes me think that it will be void of information from studies.
BTW, it is still the case that young people who marry, are many more times likely to divorce than more mature people. 18 is too young. Men should be at least 25.
As far as I know Brad is a member of Opus Dei or closely affiliated with it and similar outfits most/all of which are fully paid up supporters of Project2025 which is of course very much an elite outfit too.
The book title needs to be much more specific. It should refer to intelligent, well-educated, compassionate Americans with critical thinking skills who are opposed to Christian nationalism and authoritarianism.
May I ask who the ‘elites’ are? Also, Asia & India are chock full of people. I don’t think we have to worry about the planet being depopulated any time soon.