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KING CHARLES III: Please Rescue Us From Trump.

A PROCLAMATION, HUMBLY ADDRESSED TO THE MOST SERENE AND GRACIOUS SOVEREIGN…

King Charles III and Queen Camilla are scheduled to make a state visit to the United States from Monday, April 27, to Thursday, April 30, 2026. The visit, hosted by President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump, will include stops in Washington, D.C., New York City, and Virginia to mark the 250th anniversary of American independence. The proclamation adopts the elevated, formal cadence of eighteenth-century royal petitions, echoing the tone of documents like the Declaration of Independence and loyalist broadsides addressed to King George III, with its stately “Whereas” clauses, moral gravity, and appeal to divine order. It blends irony with sincerity, using archaic diction and ceremonious structure to frame a modern political critique as if it were a plea for restoration to monarchical stability, thereby highlighting the perceived disorder of contemporary governance through the contrast with an older language of duty, hierarchy, and restraint.

A PROCLAMATION, HUMBLY ADDRESSED TO THE MOST SERENE AND GRACIOUS SOVEREIGN,

His Majesty King Charles III,

By Certain Loyal Petitioners, Subjects Once Lost, Now in Distress

To the King’s Most Excellent Majesty,

Whereas it hath pleased Divine Providence, in former ages, to sunder these Colonies from the Crown of Great Britain, under circumstances of grievance, tumult, and misapprehension; and whereas that sundering, once thought a remedy, hath in these latter days yielded fruits most bitter and alarming;

And whereas the present condition of those United States, under the magistracy of Donald Trump, standeth marked by manifold accusations, convictions, and disorders—namely, the adjudication of numerous felonies, the shadow of further indictments touching the subversion of lawful elections, the careless handling of matters of state secrecy, and sundry civil judgments of grave moral concern;

And whereas it is further alleged that the administration now presiding hath trafficked in offices, dignities, and pardons as though they were wares to be bought and sold, such corruption striking at the very root of republican virtue, and reducing governance to a commerce of favors, wherein wealth, not merit, commandeth the public trust;

And whereas the conduct of war and peace hath grown fierce and unrestrained, with proclamations of annihilation rather than justice, and a spirit abroad that delighteth more in destruction than in the measured restraint befitting a civilized nation;

We, therefore, the undersigned—descendants of those who once cast off allegiance, yet mindful now of the cost of such separation—do most humbly and earnestly beseech Your Majesty:

That you would graciously consider the present calamities of these former Colonies;

That you would, in your wisdom and paternal care, extend again the shelter of lawful Crown authority;

That you would restore, not tyranny, but ordered liberty under ancient constitutional forms;

That the excesses of faction, corruption, and unbounded executive appetite might be tempered by the dignity, restraint, and continuity of monarchy;

For we confess, with due humility, that the experiment of self-rule, though noble in conception, hath in this hour revealed its frailty when entrusted to men unrestrained by honor, law, or conscience.

We do not forget the lessons of history, nor do we lightly propose the undoing of so great an event as the American Revolution. Yet necessity, that stern tutor, compelleth reconsideration. For when liberty decayeth into license, and governance into spectacle, it is not treason to seek remedy, but prudence.

Thus we lay before Your Majesty this extraordinary petition:

That the bonds once broken might, in some new and wiser form, be reconsidered;

That justice, stability, and moral seriousness might again find firm footing;

And that the people, long divided and misled, might recover under a system less vulnerable to the passions and corruptions of a single ambitious man.

And Your Petitioners, as in duty bound, shall ever pray for Your Majesty’s health, wisdom, and enduring reign.

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